shark hug

Cruise shippers make my brains hurt

So this morning was a clusterfuck.

Got to the dock right on time for 7:30 to set up gear and whatnot for our 8:45 departure. Full boat today - 4 cruisers and 4 on island folks. Two are somewhat regulars so good there. BUT, the rest... oh the rest.

So as one might imagine in any place that thrives on tourism, working in the industry means that you must rely on them for your paycheck. It also means that you hate them with a fire that burns like Satan's bum after too much Taco Bell. People off of cruise ships are the worst. They tend to think that the whole world is supposed to just wait for them to decide when they'd like to do something. So, on the whole, they are late for everything. Which is not very good when you have a schedule to keep up for your business. We have a set departure time of 8:45, motor out to whatever site is available and do our first dive, generally a wall dive to about 100ft. Depending on air consumption this can last anywhere from 20 to 50 minutes. Then is a 45 minute surface interval lest all of our guests get the bends. Then the shallow dive (30-60ft) which generally lasts between 45 minutes and an hour. So that's at least 3 hours for the trip. We also run an afternoon trip set to leave the dock at 12:45. If you are LATE, cruisers, that makes everyone else on the trip have to wait for YOU. Today there were 5 ships in port. Yuck.

Our people were scheduled to meet us for a pick up at the cruise dock at 8:30. Well they were late. We didn't leave our dock until 9:15, putting us back into our dock for around 1. With our other guest waiting rather impatiently for us to arrive, fill tanks and get on again.

Now, the small window between trips is for us to, you know, eat and stuff. So when people get all pissy at me for wanting them to be on time and hurry up with the lollying around I get a bit cranky. Because it really isn't fair to me or my coworker that we must work from 7:30 to 5:30 with no break for bathroom or food so that you can take your damn time buying a coconut from that homeless guy.

To top it all off, they were all shit divers. The afternoon trip served to lift spirits though, and I knocked off 3 lionfish. So there is that.

But still. I freaking hate cruise shippers.
shark hug

(no subject)


Totally forgot I had an LJ until I got bored and needed to read some porn. What does that say about me? Who cares.

So I've moved back to the Caribbean because why the hell not. I swim all day and drink most nights and that's about the size of it. Working for a lovely and tiny company called Off the Wall Divers which consists of the owner, myself and one other instructor. Yesterday, I poked a turtle with a dead fish. Today, my student cancelled because she stayed up until three studying, which is either a damnable lie because who studies on vacation or she's just really lame and anxiety ridden. Either way I ended up with the day off. I have not accomplished much of anything aside from hitching to work, finding out there was no work to be had and catching a bus home. Also I ate some soup.

Mayhaps something more interesting will happen tomorrow. Two trips scheduled. Anyway, here is a picture of Totoro with a Christmas bow on his head.

PS- when I tell LJ to detect my location, it says I am in Jamaica. Dear LJ, Jamaica is several hundred miles from Cayman. Also it is a totally separate country.
shark hug

I haven't written a post in like a year...

and I've spent the better part of the day reading back entries on meta-quotes instead of teaching the small Korean children in my classroom. Right now I have a group of obnoxious little ass wipes who have managed to enrage almost every teacher they have had since Monday.

Oh yeah, that's right. It's been a freaking year. So Will and I left Cayman (regretting that decision immensely, by the by) in September of last year and went to bum around Costa Rica for three months or so (that part was fun). While we were there we also picked up our TESOL certifications and spent all of our money, thus necessitating our getting jobs. The first jobs we found and were selected for looked awesome and sweet so we took them. We are now teaching English in Daegu, South Korea.

It is not awesome.

Or sweet.

The School From The Pitts Of Hell or as it is more commonly called, The Village, is run as though the administrative staff were the Mad Hatter and the March Hare randomly yelling "CHANGE PLACES!"... except instead of changing seats at the table they change your contract to say whatever they want it to and you can't do shit because all you can say in Korean is "give me (insert noun)" and some random curse words and "eggplant" (only because is sounds just like the word for dick). Right. So I hate my job. There's that.

AND, Korea is shockingly boring. I thought "Sweet! Asia! Temples! Monks! Martial arts! Eating with chopsticks!". I was, however, mostly disappointed. My friends elsewhere in Asia assure me that this applies only to Korea and that the rest of the east is freaking sweet action on a daily basis. I'm fairly certain that all there is to do in Korea is shop for clothes and cell phones. I swear on my fucking signed copy of American Gods that there are as many cell phone stores in Daegu as there are people (and there are like 3 million people...)
Now, normally, I enjoy big cities because there is always something to do like parks and museums and art galleries and shit like that. But not in Daegu. There is shopping and more shopping and an opera house that never has anything good. Plus opera makes me sleepy... and it's all in Korean. There may be other, much awesomer things in and around the city, but we live a 45 minute bus ride out of town. And of course, that bus only runs like three times a day. So you either have to commit to being downtown for 12 hours or not go at all because paying for a cab back is gonna run you 30,000 won on the cheapest. And that's if the drive isn't a dickhole who tries to drive you all over the place because you're a miguk.

I may be white, damnit, but I know where I live.

Okay, my class is getting antsy. Time to actually do some shit.

  • Current Music
    ponyo on the cliffs by the sea
shark hug

(no subject)

Well, seeing as I haven't posted anything since... what, November? I thought I should get to it. I haven't really had much in the way of reliable internet access since then. Money's been tight. So, I'll start with the worst news: My lovely fatty puff Booker Bear died on April 17th. I was pretty messed up over that for... well right up until a few days ago. I still miss him lots and so does Apollo. But we're getting better.

Also, back in November, Chaz and I broke up. More like he wanted me to come back to TX with him and bum around and I wanted to stay on the island. So yeah. It was a long time coming.

Have a new boy now. He's called Will and he is amazing. Especially as he's been all but supporting me for the last month while I've been out of a job. I got fired in March for not signing a new contract at VIP that would cut my pay and lots of other very sketchy and bad stuff. I wasn't the only one to get fired, though. Plus, the whole company is slowly crumbling into nothingness. Hahaha. They went from like 13 employees to now... four, two of which have handed in their two weeks notice. Plus, they're having to move the office into Martin's garage! Hahahaha! Take that jerk.

After being effed around by Gecko bar (they told me I had a job and that my permit was being put in for almost three weeks before telling me out of the blue that they weren't going to hire me after all), I finally got a job the other day at the Marriott working in food and bev. Basically taking drinks to people as they lie on the beach. I've heard the tips are excellent, AND I get to be on the beach all day. My legs will be MASSIVE in like a month.

Sammy and Lisa have both returned to England after leaving VIP and we all miss them lots. Lisa will most likely be back in six or so months though because she started dating a bartender from Kaibo (who is super awesome) and he's getting ready to leave too but will be back in six months. He's also taking her to Ibetha! Coolness.

Em is watching all the animals at Shana's as she's gone to hang with Lisa in the UK for a bit. So we've been using her tv like crazy. But soon I'll have my own! Will and I are moving in with Mike and Oli at Oceanside Plantation. Very nice place - balcony that looks out directly over the water plus a pool and a gym and stuff. The landlord said she's pretend Apollo wasn't there, too. Yay.

I think my toe has leprosy... anyhow it looks gross and the skin is all falling off and it really itches. Nicole has it on her foot, too. Dunno what it is. I don't have any insurance or money or I'd go to the doctor. Eh.

I think that me and Em might go for a dive today... I should probably put on some clothes instead of just sitting around in my undies.

RIP Booker Bear. 2006-2009.
We miss you!

So... bad weather again.

So we're having a hurricane. It just popped up out of nowhere yesterday-ish and now it's a full blown storm that's probably going to be a category 3 by tomorrow or Sunday. They're shutting off the water in like thirty minutes and I don't know how long they'll leave on the power. All of the cash points in town are shut off and have been since like ass o' clock this morning. Personally, and mostly because I only have $1 on me right now (and totally not because I spent all my cash at the bar last night... definitely), I feel that they should have left the cash points open until at least 10 or 11 - so everyone could get some cash and be home in time for the curfew. BLAH.

Landlord put the storm shutters up this morning and now we're filling plastic tubs with water so we'll be able to flush toilets and such. Yay fun. At least Martin didn't make us come in to the office today. Of course, he didn't let us know that we weren't going to be in until about 7:15 this morning (work starts at 8). Thanks for that. Cheers.

Chazzle is still sleeping because he sucks. He's literally sleeping through a hurricane. The beach looks cool, though. I'm sort of babbling at this point - but this is my first hurricane and I feel that I'm allowed. I hope it blows all of the damn hobo-chickens away. Send them to Jamaica, we don't want them here. I'm sick of having chicken orgies under my window at 4 in the morning. That is just not okay. Chaz didn't believe me when I said they were everywhere down here - now he knows the awful truth. We've taken to throwing rocks at the bastards when they get too annoying.

Will keep everyone posted on Hurricane-apalooza 2008. (What kind of name is Paloma for a storm, anyhow? A lame one, that's what.)

shark hug

I would never survive in the wild...

So, I've just made myself a scrambled egg and toast for lunch. It is worth noting that this is the first time I have successfully done this without setting something on fire. EVER. I am exceedingly pleased with myself.

So yesterday at work I got stuck with the food bucket out at the sandbar (Stingray City) and so of course, all the girls were swarming around me and such. I swear to god, I think that if a stingray could pile drive someone, they would have done it to me yesterday. They were seriously ramming into me and coming up out of the water to suck on my shirt. They're weird girls... weird weird. I kept having to push them away and they'd just come right back - it was kind of like putting a hand on a smaller person's head that is trying to punch you and they just keep swinging.

Also yesterday - I accidentally smashed into some coral. There was a giant green moray eel making faces at me and it moved really suddenly and freaked me out. I may have flailed a bit. I didn't know it was possible to laugh at someone through a regulator, but Nicole managed it yesterday. Butt head.

The weather has been shit mostly - sunnier today. I think we're going to go to the beach for a few drinks in a little bit. Who knows - I've spent almost my whole day off cleaning and sleeping. How exciting am I, right?

Now I've got to go clean up my egg mess... yay.
shark hug


So, I've made it down to the Caymans! I've been here for one week today and we've just gotten our internet set up! YAY!

The ladies I live and work with are great and crazy. We all have three sisters, as well. Spooky.

Right now I am looking for a car so I don't have to make everyone else drive me around all the time. Will have some lovely pictures up soon hopefully - stingrays and beach and sun and drunken party on the beach.

cranky pants


So the surgery was totally fine. For the record, I love the knockout IV. LOVE IT. I didn't even do any of that count backwards bs. The anesthetist walked in, introduced himself, turned on the drip and then I felt slightly tingly before I was out like a light. Apparently, though, according to Dr. Collins and the nurses I am "quite a character". When I first went under, before I was completely out but still out enough to not remember this, I was apparently talking on and on about how much I loved my iPhone. Not my mom, not my boyfriend or my pets - my phone. I rock so hard.

Right now I'm on drugs which aren't working terribly well. We're getting me some new ones so these are being combined with Xanax until I find some that work. I'm quite loopy and this is very hard to type. Also, I have one of those sock/ice pack things wrapped around my head. My sister said I look like the flying nun. Lulz.

Dizzi-dog has been cuddling me on the couch since I got home. She's mostly angry that I've stolen her spot, but maybe a little loving as well. She did kiss my face a lot when I got back. She's a cuddle monster :).

Anyhow, love to you all. I'm back to the couch. Boy brought me some of my fav movies to keep me occupied because he luuuurves me. Yey.